Georgia to Allow Family Bible Beatings

Georgia will soon pass a law that allows a man to beat his wife and children exactly as the Bible commands.  Finally! State-endorsed beatings for Jesus!  Brothers, this is what we’ve been working so hard to accomplish…  putting the Bible back into American laws the way Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson intended.

Rep. Sam Teasley and Sen. Josh McKoon have worked tirelessly to make this law permitting domestic violence (AKA “Godly correction”) a reality.  These fine Republicans will stop at nothing to put God’s heavy fist of love into every home in Georgia (and eventually the USA).  Christians have been oppressed for too long by man-made laws.  It’s time to violently punish the women and children as instructed in Ephesians 5:22-24 and 1 Timothy 2:11-15 and Psalm 137:9 and Proverbs 22:15 and Exodus 21:17 and 1 Peter 2:13 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-36 and Oh, Hallelujah!  Oh, God, yes!  Glorious Jesus Christ Almighty!  Jesus is coming!  OH YES!  Yes!!  Yes.  yes.    …  um.  yeah.  wow.

Jesus came once already.  Imagine how much harder he’ll come the second time when he sees all the women and children subjugated exactly as He commanded it!  Praise God!

Corrected Wife

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

 

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