Georgia to Allow Family Bible Beatings

Georgia will soon pass a law that allows a man to beat his wife and children exactly as the Bible commands.  Finally! State-endorsed beatings for Jesus!  Brothers, this is what we’ve been working so hard to accomplish…  putting the Bible back into American laws the way Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson intended.

Rep. Sam Teasley and Sen. Josh McKoon have worked tirelessly to make this law permitting domestic violence (AKA “Godly correction”) a reality.  These fine Republicans will stop at nothing to put God’s heavy fist of love into every home in Georgia (and eventually the USA).  Christians have been oppressed for too long by man-made laws.  It’s time to violently punish the women and children as instructed in Ephesians 5:22-24 and 1 Timothy 2:11-15 and Psalm 137:9 and Proverbs 22:15 and Exodus 21:17 and 1 Peter 2:13 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-36 and Oh, Hallelujah!  Oh, God, yes!  Glorious Jesus Christ Almighty!  Jesus is coming!  OH YES!  Yes!!  Yes.  yes.    …  um.  yeah.  wow.

Jesus came once already.  Imagine how much harder he’ll come the second time when he sees all the women and children subjugated exactly as He commanded it!  Praise God!

Corrected Wife

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?


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48 Responses to Georgia to Allow Family Bible Beatings

  1. Logan Gore says:

    Lol! You’ve gotta love the satire of this page

  2. Matte Bounce says:

    Yօʊ ɦaʋɛ tɦɛ աʀօռɢ ɨɖɛa..

  3. Jason Kirwan says:

    Is this page really supporting it

  4. Nick Cook says:

    Wow. All fucking righty.

  5. Mathew Weiss says:

    Well Damn straight. If y’all don’t cheat y’all won’t get beat

  6. Is this a troll or is it real?

    • Bill Gram says:

      The story in the linked article is quite real. It’s an AP news wire story.

    • Blake Grow says:

      Not real, the Bible doesn’t mean beat to abuse but to whip for a scolding, meaning that it’s for a punishment wich parents these days don’t know what that means as you can see for yourself.

    • Exactly! The whipping is not for “abuse” at all! I’m glad someone understands. In the Bible, when a wife or child is whipped, it is for punishment, not just to abuse them. Much the way you punish a slave, not to kill them, but just to scold them. If they die, you could get into trouble so you need to be careful!

  7. Brian Hutsko says:

    Um WTF?
    ”Kill for Christ or he won’t love you anymore
    Saved! It’s like a victory call
    Worship our god or we’ll murder you all
    Kill them all or be killed, their blood is upon their heads
    God loves his children, unbelievers are better off dead.
    After all what’s the loss?
    No good can come from individual thought.
    Unsaved shall pay the price
    The Bible commands that you kill for Christ”

  8. Brian Hutsko says:

    If this is what they believe, they’re no better than the psychopaths in the terrorist groups. Their manifestos say the same things

    • Their manifestos say the same thing as the Bible?

    • Kill the non-Christians (Deuteronomy 17:2-5). Yeah, it does sound pretty similar. Sounds like they’ve been ripping us off! And what does the Bible say should be done to thieves?

    • The verse you are referring to has a context which removes your fears and puts things in proper perspective. Image muslims who revert the deen of Islam and have to kill their entire family. This is when unknowing causes challenges in understanding.

      Then it also would conflict with surah 5:32 where Allah swt says if one kills a life (unjustly ) it is as if he has killed all humanity and if one saves a life it is as if he has saved all humanity.

    • The Qur’an was not revealed to the Rasool sal’allahu alayhi wa salaam all at once. It was revealed over a period and much of the context deals with the situations at that moment or time.

    • Musa, what does your book have to do with the word of God? The Bible says only the BLOOD of Jesus can save you. Tye Bible also commands followers to slay the followers of your “religion” to please God, but sadly so many Christians have lost their way. Perhaps you can help convince Christians to start following the Bible! God works in mysterious ways! Hallelujah!

    • 2 Timothy 3:16 ►

      Parallel Verses

      New International Version
      All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

      New Living Translation
      All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.

      English Standard Version
      All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

      New American Standard Bible
      All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;

      King James Bible
      All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

    • The translations here differ within themselves. Some say that it’s God’s literal speech and some say that all scripture is inspired by God. I believe it’s both. Some of the Scriptures survived the council of nicia.

    • The blood atonement for salvation is an illusion. It would make more sense if it happened right after the original sin which supposedly all humanity. Then everyone could accept this form of salvation. But because Yeshua bin Mariam pbuh was born at a far far far later date, this makes him unavailable to the masses of sinners who never knew about him because he wasent born yet. But the Creator of the heavens and the earth Allah subhana wa ta ‘ ala has always been available for forgiveness. Not to mention Yeshua pbuh didn’t want to die.

      Hebrews 5:7 ►

      Parallel Verses

      New International Version
      During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.

    • Also regarding the crucifixion/blood atonement read

      Exodus 32:30-35 ►

      the next day Moses said to the people, “You yourselves have committed a great sin; and now I am going up to the LORD, perhaps I can make atonement for your sin.” 31Then Moses returned to the LORD, and said, “Alas, this people has committed a great sin, and they have made a god of gold for themselves. 32“But now, if You will, forgive their sin—and if not, please blot me out from Your book which You have written!” 33The LORD said to Moses, “Whoever has sinned against Me, I will blot him out of My book. 34“But go now, lead the people where I told you. Behold, My angel shall go before you; nevertheless in the day when I punish, I will punish them for their sin.” 35Then the LORD smote the people, because of what they did with the calf which Aaron had made.

    • Matt Bigg says:

      Main reason for wars n fights religion. RELIGION ARE BOOKS OF MADE UP FAIRY TAIL. Don’t matter what one you wanna, follow n beleave that’s all a joke.

  9. Jason Kirwan says:

    You’re all a big bunch of retards if you support the oppression of women and children

  10. Wize John says:

    yall christians are fucking twisted yo

  11. Christians get to beat their wives and kids now…. not cool fuck your religion sorry not sorry…….

  12. Umm yeah the bible never spoke of beating your wife and kids. Your wife is your flesh. If you hit your wife then beat yourself up. Y’shua. He holds a husband to the highest regard. Trust me he wouldn’t condone beating anyone. If you want that then convert to Islam. You have made Y’shua out to be something else. Repent for the wickedness.

    • 1 Corinthians 14:34-36, Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Timothy 2:11-15, 1 Peter 3:1, and numerous other BIBLE verses teach that women are subjected to the will of the husband as their head the way that God is the head of man. Nice try attempting to convert Christians to Islam, silly Hebrew! Stop oppressing Christians with your fictitious Torahs and Korans and Necronomicons!

  13. Matt Bigg says:

    Haha what a joke. And this will be why yous all go to hell. Of you beleave in that shit. Can I beat ppl who be leave in a fake story book character for being a fucking complete tool and retart.

  14. Theres everything wrong with this… this is exactly y I dont support organized religion

  15. Here you go Nicholas Dugger right up your alley

  16. Wize John says:

    Y’all are fucking nuts ….

  17. It’s funny how everyone thinks this is serious……they”re jokes about Christians…lol

  18. Astaroth says:

    I you are a Xtian you may think a whipping is punishment. Xtians are too dumb to get kink. It takes an intellectual enemy of Christ to get into Sado-masochism.

    Hail Satan!

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